Yellowjackets

So what did you do over the weekend? I tried hurting myself.

My son noticed what looked like a wasp’s nest between his bedroom window and the storm window. The screen was pulled out slightly at the bottom left corner. The nest was at the top right corner.

I instantly recognized that opening the window from inside the house was a bad idea, so I headed into the back yard with a can of Ortho Hornet and Wasp Killer to see what I could do. I pulled the rubber out from around the screen and took out the screen. I was also able to get the screen frame out from the outside. I stood back as wasp after wasp emerged from the bottom half of the window. The Ortho product has a powerful spray so I was able to stand back a comfortable distance. It does NOT, however, kill instantly. My previous can of wasp and hornet spray would make them drop straight to the ground as soon as they got touched by any amount of spray. The Ortho made them fly “drunk” for a while, then nose in to the ground.

I didn’t like the slow reaction to the spray, but things were going relatively well – until the glass on the top half of the window popped loose and slid down to the next notch. Now the nest was exposed to the open air, and all the angry yellowjackets were instantly able to fly directly at me all at once.

Sting Prevention
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Should a yellowjacket wasp fly near you or land on your body, never swing or strike at it or run rapidly away since quick movements often provoke attack and painful stings. When a wasp is near you, slowly raise your hands to protect your face remaining calm and stationary for a while and then move very slowly (avoid stepping on the ground nest), backing out through bushes or moving indoors to escape. Wasps and bees can fly about six to seven miles per hour so humans can outrun them. However, by the time one starts running, there could quickly be a dozen or so painful stings caused by the rapid movement.

Never run rapidly away? Logical Joel could not convince Highly Emotional Joel that staying was an option. Halfway across the concrete patio, one of the angry Yellowjackets did a low-level fly-by of my right ear, making a loud buzzing sound. At that point, I tried running faster than I can actually run, and took a dive onto the patio. I said a bad, bad word. I think I was up and running again within a second. I rounded the corner of the house, and made it back inside – alone and un-stung.

I waited a couple of hours before returning to the back yard. They were all gone. It’s a good thing that they were, because I think I had already had enough fun for the day.

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